I think I might have a bit more to say on the monthly blog update compared to last month.
I'll start with the CS2 map i've been working on. The pace has definitely slowed down in the last month which has resulted in me feeling a little bit frustrated. I was hoping to maintain the momentum until I was basically finished but it hasn't quite panned out that way. One thing I can say for sure is that I have become a lot more comfortable with the workflow approach in the editor but I am still very much still building the basic layout. I was convinced at one stage that I was finished so I could start approaching the texturing and decoration but I started making radical changes and in the end felt like it was easier to start from scratch. There is definitely a psychological aspect to this process that i've encountered before and I think I have run out of steam and need to give it a break so I can come back and approach with a fresh perspective. I have been meaning to go out and take some pictures I could either use for texture reference or process some for use as textures, so that would be a great reason to go out. I've had some success creating some textures with the Mandelbulber2 software for creating interesting decorative patterns I can use, I think it could also be used to generate random looking environmental stuff. Anyway as i've said I think i'm going to give myself maybe a week or two away before I come back to this project but I am still feeling commited to its completion.
That being said I have started to make more of an effort to get myself out more and I have been taking trips to a couple of local towns for a mooch around some of the charity shops and a bite to eat. I ended up finding an NES in a pawn shop which I ended up putting a deposit on and I got around to paying it off last week. I've got no games to try out on it at the moment but I have ordered three off ebay which should be arriving in the next few days. It'll be interesting to try it out for real as i've only ever used emulators for the system. It is also the oldest system I have now, considering it's age it's in pretty good condition. You can tell that a child has at some point gnawed on the the top of the controller which I find pretty funny. I also reaquired the gameboy color model that an ex got me as a gift many moons ago that I displaced. I've still got the box for it, it's been good to get that all back together again. I also got myself a genuine super nintendo controller as the third party controllers I got last year didn't work with the Super Gameboy I found randomly at the end of last summer in a market. It's been good to be able to try that out now. I must of been like five or six when we had a visitor briefly staying at the house who told me about there being a way to play gameboy games on the TV and I can remember being amazed, it's taken 30 years but I finally got to trying it for myself. I've only got one game to try on it and it's Pokemon Gold, which works but the battery for the save needs replacing in the cartridge. I have ordered Mario Land 1 and 2 which were games I played mostly as a child so i'll be able to give them a go soon.
I ended up pulling all my optical media from the loft space as I was worried with the heatwave we've been experiencing it's just going to ruin them. As a result i've had to rearrange the room somewhat to allow space for storing them away. The room feels a little more spacious despite there being technically less room, smoke and mirrors I guess. But they are at least in a better environment and it does give me an opportunity to create some kind of spreadsheet of what i've got which i've been meaning to do anyway.
I'm coming up to almost a month now of having got rid of my discord account which I had for almost a decade. It was quite an emotional rollercoaster but I do feel a sense of peace having now walked away. I really at this stage have no friends which i've come to accept over the last few years. I wish you all the happiness to anyone who might be checking in on the site from those circles, I think it was for the best in the end.
A little bit of news on Jasper, he had his appointment after 3 months and he doesn't need to be seen in half a year now which is great news. I've also been on a new tablet for my diabetes this past month which has taken my average down very nicely, i've actually had room to eat more but now I am now more conscious of my blood sugar levels getting low rather than high. I do feel my mood has improved in general and i'm feeling less anxious and stressed.
All in all things are ok, they're not great by any means but I think this post has had more of a positive spin. That's probably the best way to end this post, all the best as usual.
Howard.
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