I had planned to write a blog post today but much earlier in the day but gave up as I felt that I no longer had the energy for it. I just spent a few hours trying to drift off to sleep for the night but i've decided I would give it a go as I seem to have the energy again now. I usually write a list on what i'm going to touch on and i'm sure there are things I am missing but i'll just work with what i've got.
I think it's been about five weeks now since I last hit a vape and had any nicotine. I think the worst is over now in terms of mood fluctuation, irratibility and cravings but what I didn't realise until doing more research is how it would have an impact on my glucose levels as my body was readjusting. I noticed quite a different pattern with my readings which lead me on to looking online for answers. I feel only in the past week have I seen a return to what I would consider a normal pattern for me. Around the time and somewhat overlapping with quitting I have commited to at least 10,000 steps a day which roughly equates for someone of my height to be around 4 and a half miles. I've heard it repeated and echoed that this is how much a person needs to do every day and the more i've done it I am beginning to wonder why. With having taken on walking in the past few years as a way to improve my health, I feel perhaps I was going overboard in the end with how long I could be out before. I would often come home with my feet aching and with what was left of the time I had it was basically impossible to try and do anything that I would consider productive on the computer. It always felt like I was in a trance of not really being able to fully engage and where I was vedging out for want of a better phrase. The only time I can remember feeling like that was at the end of a shift at work (when I used to work). I can only assume it is just the body and minds natural response of knowing it has a good opportunity to rest. I spent probably just over 2 months being fairly immobile in comparison working on the CS2 map before hitting the wall I have already wrote about in a previous post. I knew I needed to find a balance between being able to work on the computer and some exercise and so 10,000 steps did seem like a good daily goal. I've taken to walking around the local park and on average visiting twice a day. What I have realised about myself is that i'm quite sensitive to sounds, I think i've learnt to live with it but having a short walk to the park where it is for the most part quiet and the ambient sounds are more what I would describe as being more natural. For example, hearing bird song or the sound of a gust of wind brush across the trees is much more natural than say car engines going past every couple of seconds on some of the busy and long roads I walked down. I am appreciating the park walks from that perspective but I think it's also seeing people taking their dogs out for walks. I think that's probably when you see dogs at their happiest and that's always nice to see.
So a few weeks ago I set myself a task of rebuilding a village in a sandbox mmo that me and I guess ex friends used to play over a decade ago. I have attempted over a number of years of finding that original location but always gave up. It was a bit of a project to find but actually it turned out to be fairly straightforward once I got me head around it. When I did come to find the place I was expecting the area to be almost unrecognisable but it turned out that all the work I did on shaping that landscape remained and almost all of the flooring remained of where the village once stood. It was quite an amazing feeling and I decided not long after that I would very much like to see it rebuilt. It's taken just over two weeks but I basically found a good place to slow down as the bulk of the work has been done. This will be the first time I embed a YouTube video in one of these blog posts so it should be just below this paragraph if you are interested.
With Monday just a few hours away I am going to try and dive back into the map making going into the new week and see how I get on with now having had a break from it. I wont get my hopes up but there is always something to be learnt from trying. I also intend to stream the new game plus of the game Vagrant Story now that I have a better upscaler, I think I am going to keep that to weekends over the course of the autumn/winter.
I know I haven't really touched on anything to personal in this post and there are definitely things I would like to write about but some of the recent subject matter is hard for me to process let alone write in a way that may not be entirely helpful to me or anyone reading. I'm going to try and keeps the posts light where I am able.
As always, all the best.
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